Week 1. Shakedown vs. Ladies and Gents

This post will serve as the team roster for our first game. In the comments field, write your name and preferred position. This'll also serve as a list to see who'll be at the game. I'll check a few times daily and update the post to include what's in the comments.
- your tech-savvy cuzzin

Fielding
1) Pitcher - Alicia
2) 1st Base - Mike
3) 2nd Base - Jake
4) 3rd Base - Abdullah
5) Shortstop - Andy
6) Left Field -
7) Center Field - Eddie
8) Right Field - Chris
9) Catcher - Erin


At bat*
1) Abdullah
2) Andy
3) Mike
4)
5) Eddie
6) Jake
7) Alicia
8)
9) Erin
10) Chris
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)

*foot


Keep the dream alive, y'all.

Snickers

Character Bio
Perpetchially comin off his shift at the local Walmart, Snickers'll pull a double or triple on the job or on the field.
Height - Not really sure, but he's up there.
Weight - So so, give or take.

Stats

• Got his name because, as a kid, he loved eatin' Snickers. One Christmas, that's all he asked for. When Santa gave 'em one-a them there ColecoVision sets, he was so mad he just sat in the corner, puttin his head into the wall. He don't recollect things so good no more.
• Can bite clean through a tire.
• Can grow a beard in a day if he jus pushed real hard.
  
• Got his name because, as a kid, he'd feed his dog, Colt 47, a snickers bar each 'n every day. Sure enough, Colt 47 died, and snickers took on the name so's not to kill anythin else.
  

Tater

Character Bio
A mighty force ah the team, Tater's best used when bases are loaded and the beer's gone warm. Also, like taters, this one's best served with nacho cheese n' chili.
Height - 5'somethin" He jus' kicks when we try measurin'
Weight - ??? Kicked the scale clean past outfield

Stats

• Can shape his poop to look like Yul Brenner.
• Knows all lines to the movie Deliverance.
• Currently seeking a veterinarian, because THESE PYTHONS ARE SICK!

Geech

Character Bio
Recently paroled for a crime he prolly did commit, Geech'll get 'er dun on any field, in any sport, with any gender.
Height - 5'8" without the lifts
Weight - Like a feather

Stats

• Wanted in 3 states for lookin' so damn FINE.
• Like one-a them there puffer fish, can swell ta about three times his size when tickled.
• Claims that 80% of stats are made up.

Cuzzin' Merl

Character Bio
What do ya get when ya cross Kenny Rogers, a past-it's-prime race horse, and it's sister. Something like this Obamanation.
Height - 5'6" and still growin'
Weight - Just shy of way too much

Stats

• Keeps claimin he'sa one-a them there Cuban races. If he thinks he gon' represent the shakedown, he best say he's NEW Mexican.
• Likes takin long walks on I-95.
• Two time champion of the Monroe County Tobacco Spittin' Competition.
• Ain't never met a fambly member he ain't tried to woo.

Uncle Dwayne

Character Bio
Get a gander at the head ah our fambly. Our pah, uncle, cousin n' patriarch, Uncle Dwayne.
Height - 5'7" Sober, 1' 1" drunk
Weight - NUN AH YO GOD DAMN BIDNESS


Stats

• Fact. He once bested a bear in'a county fair cage match wit nuthin butta bag of wonder bread an two fifs of Jack.
• Got hands like feet, and skills to boot.
• Ran for Pope twice, then figurd if them eye-talians is as god fearin' as he dun heard, they gun shit they pants if'n when he gets ta the head ah the church.
• Has a general disliking of the Welsh.